Descriptive Writing to Inform An Exemplar Report level : Level 4 'Transitional'.....'consolidating'. ('FIRST STEPS' WRITING PROGRAMME)
By Kiana Young W YR 8
WALTS: (STAGE OBJECTIVES)
pink=
good adjectives
purple =
good
vocab'
grey=
technical
words
blue=
signal
words
dark blue
= comparing
signal
words
green=
anti-pers
voice
modifiers
red= time-
less present
tense
brown=
new para'
Marshmallow
A marshmallow is a soft confection that is enjoyed by many people around the world. Marshmallows consistof many ingredients such as corn-syrup, sugar, water, gelatin all whipped into a spongyconsistency.
A marshmallow can come in many different colours, however the two most popular colours are pink and white. The marshmallow can also have many different sizes. Some marshmallows can be compared in size with ping pong ball however others can be much larger. Usually, a marshmallow is classified as a confection.
When the marshmallow first came into existence it was used as a medicinal substance, because of the mucilaginous extracts that come from the roots of the Althaea Officinalis ( also known as the marshmallow plant). It was used as a remedy for sore throats. That root has been used since Egyptian antiquity.
Although many people enjoy marshmallows, vegans do not eat them because of what they are made of. The marshmallow contains gelatin, in which there are pigs feet. Also some modern recipes call for eggs to be used.
The marshmallow is a popular confectionery and are sold in many countries all over the world. The marshmallow was very popular in Asia and also in the former colonies of America. China currently has the biggest company for marshmallows which is called Ecro Foods which exports marshmallows to fifty-six countries.
Marshmallow production has advanced since the time it was first made. Recipes have changed, in which the Althaea Officinalis (the marshmallow plant) does now not play a big part in making the product. More than one point five million people enjoy this confectionery.
This soft, edibleproductcan come in many shapes, colours and sizes that can entertain and be enjoyed by many.
SourceURL:file:localhost/Users/richardy/Desktop/SEAN Descriptive Writing to Inform: Southern Right Whale by Sean Mc Grath
The Southern right whale belongs to the right whale family along with the North Atlantic and the North Pacific right whales. It is a baleen whale and lives in various places around the Southern Hemisphere.
The Southern right whale is a large bulky looking baleen whale that reaches lengths of 45-55 feet and weights up to sixty tons, which is an equivalent to 40 elephants. Southern right whales have about 500 baleen plates in their mouths and these are 7 feet long each.
They have a lifespan of up to fifty years, and an individual Southern right whale can be identified by the size shape and position of the callosities on its head. They have no dorsal fin and is a back boned creature. Their large flukes allow them to play a lot of games such as sailing where they catch the wind with their flukes. They have two blowholes and shoot water 5 meters high in a V shape. They eat planktonic organisms which are no more than a millimetre in length and they eat over 2000 pounds of this a day.
They are called right whales because they were once thought to be the right or the best whales to kill. This is because of there large amount of fat which makes them float, so they are easy to collect after harpooning them. They were full of highly prized oil for lighting, heating, cosmetics and crayons. They are very slow to grow and slow to reproduce.
The Southern right whale is one of three whales listed as endangered under Tasmania's Threatened Species Protection Act 1995. These whales became endangered as direct result of the whaling industry. By the 1900’s Southern right whales were being driven to the edge of extinction. They were the first species of whale to be protected in 1935 because so few were left. Bay areas along the Foveaux Strait from Fiordland to Northern Otago are important breeding grounds for Southern right whale.
The Southern right whale migrates between warmer low latitude breeding grounds and cooler high latitude feeding grounds. The Southern right whale habitats are in a variety of places in the Southern Hemisphere and they come to New Zealand in large numbers.
So the Southern right whale is a large baleen whale that lives in the Southern Hemisphere and is slow to reproduce. By the callosities on its head an individual Southern right whale can be identified. They are highly endangered and cannot be hunted.
SourceURL:file:localhost/Users/richardy/Desktop/JORDAN Descriptive Writing to Inform Southern Right Whale By Jordan Jarman
The Southern right whale is one of three species of right whale. The Southern right whale belongs to the group known as cetacean which also includes dolphins and porpoises.
The Southern right whale is a baleen whale which means it has no teeth. But instead of teeth it has something in its month that acts like a sieve. That is why the southern right whale eats things like copepods, krill and plankton along with other tiny crustaceans.
The Southern right whale can be found in the Southern Hemis phere and near Antarctica. In New Zealand they are mainly found in Auckland and around Campbell Island. In Summer the Southern right whale makes its way to the cooler parts of the ocean because of a food explosion here.
The Southern right whales are large, stocky, black whales 15-18 meters long. The Southern right whale has the same features of other baleen whales but with two blowholes and pectoral fins. When Southern right whales are born they can be 5-6 meters long. But have plenty of time to grow because of their expected 50 years life span.
One thing behavior-wise unique to the Southern right whale is they are known for “sailing”. Sailing is done by using their elevated flukes to catch the wind.
Before whaling there was said to be 1000 southern right whales in the New Zealand area. There are approximately 10,000 southern right whales spread though out the southern part of the Southern Hemisphere.
The large, stocky, black, pectoral -finned, baleen Southern right whale is thought beautiful by many people. Experts believe that whaling needs to stop because all three right whale species are currently considered endangered.
Descriptive Writing to Inform
An Exemplar
Report level : Level 4 'Transitional'.....'consolidating'. ('FIRST STEPS'
WRITING PROGRAMME)
By Kiana Young W YR 8
(STAGE
OBJECTIVES)
pink=
good adjectives
good
vocab'
technical
words
signal
words
= comparing
signal
words
anti-pers
voice
modifiers
less present
tense
new para'
A marshmallow is a soft confection that is enjoyed by many people around the world. Marshmallows consist of many ingredients such as corn-syrup, sugar, water, gelatin all whipped into a spongy consistency.
A marshmallow can come in many different colours, however the two most popular colours are pink and white. The marshmallow can also have many different sizes. Some marshmallows can be compared in size with ping pong ball however others can be much larger. Usually, a marshmallow is classified as a confection.
When the marshmallow first came into existence it was used as a medicinal substance, because of the mucilaginous extracts that come from the roots of the Althaea Officinalis ( also known as the marshmallow plant). It was used as a remedy for sore throats. That root has been used since Egyptian antiquity.
Although many people enjoy marshmallows, vegans do not eat them because of what they are made of. The marshmallow contains gelatin, in which there are pigs feet. Also some modern recipes call for eggs to be used.
The marshmallow is a popular confectionery and are sold in many countries all over the world. The marshmallow was very popular in Asia and also in the former colonies of America. China currently has the biggest company for marshmallows which is called Ecro Foods which exports marshmallows to fifty-six countries.
Marshmallow production has advanced since the time it was first made. Recipes have changed, in which the Althaea Officinalis (the marshmallow plant) does now not play a big part in making the product. More than one point five million people enjoy this confectionery.
This soft, edible product can come in many shapes, colours and sizes that can entertain and be enjoyed by many.
SourceURL:file:localhost/Users/richardy/Desktop/SEAN
Descriptive Writing to Inform:
Southern Right Whale by Sean Mc Grath
The Southern right whale belongs to the right whale family along with the North Atlantic and the North Pacific right whales. It is a baleen whale and lives in various places around the Southern Hemisphere.
The Southern right whale is a large bulky looking baleen whale that reaches lengths of 45-55 feet and weights up to sixty tons, which is an equivalent to 40 elephants. Southern right whales have about 500 baleen plates in their mouths and these are 7 feet long each.
They have a lifespan of up to fifty years, and an individual Southern right whale can be identified by the size shape and position of the callosities on its head. They have no dorsal fin and is a back boned creature. Their large flukes allow them to play a lot of games such as sailing where they catch the wind with their flukes. They have two blowholes and shoot water 5 meters high in a V shape. They eat planktonic organisms which are no more than a millimetre in length and they eat over 2000 pounds of this a day.
They are called right whales because they were once thought to be the right or the best whales to kill. This is because of there large amount of fat which makes them float, so they are easy to collect after harpooning them. They were full of highly prized oil for lighting, heating, cosmetics and crayons. They are very slow to grow and slow to reproduce.
The Southern right whale is one of three whales listed as endangered under Tasmania's Threatened Species Protection Act 1995. These whales became endangered as direct result of the whaling industry. By the 1900’s Southern right whales were being driven to the edge of extinction. They were the first species of whale to be protected in 1935 because so few were left. Bay areas along the Foveaux Strait from Fiordland to Northern Otago are important breeding grounds for Southern right whale.
The Southern right whale migrates between warmer low latitude breeding grounds and cooler high latitude feeding grounds. The Southern right whale habitats are in a variety of places in the Southern Hemisphere and they come to New Zealand in large numbers.
So the Southern right whale is a large baleen whale that lives in the Southern Hemisphere and is slow to reproduce. By the callosities on its head an individual Southern right whale can be identified. They are highly endangered and cannot be hunted.
SourceURL:file:localhost/Users/richardy/Desktop/JORDAN
Descriptive Writing to Inform
Southern Right Whale
By Jordan Jarman
The Southern right whale is one of three species of right whale. The Southern right whale belongs to the group known as cetacean which also includes dolphins and
porpoises.
The Southern right whale is a baleen whale which means it has no teeth. But instead of teeth it has something in its month that acts like a sieve. That is why the southern right whale eats things like copepods, krill and plankton along with other tiny crustaceans.
The Southern right whale can be found in the Southern Hemis phere and near Antarctica. In New Zealand they are mainly
found in Auckland and around Campbell Island. In Summer the Southern right whale makes its way to the cooler parts of the ocean because of a food explosion here.
The Southern right whales are large, stocky, black whales 15-18 meters long. The Southern right whale has the same features of other baleen whales but with two blowholes and pectoral fins. When Southern right whales are born they can be 5-6 meters long. But have plenty of time to grow because of their expected 50 years life span.
One thing behavior-wise unique to the Southern right whale is they are known for “sailing”. Sailing is done by using their elevated flukes to catch the wind.
Before whaling there was said to be 1000 southern right whales in the New Zealand area. There are approximately 10,000 southern right whales spread though out the southern part of the Southern Hemisphere.
The large, stocky, black, pectoral -finned, baleen Southern right whale is thought beautiful by many people. Experts believe that whaling needs to stop because all three right whale species are currently considered endangered.